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13 Tips to Lead 2013 with Humor

I had the good fortune of being interviewed by Marcy Heim about the work I do with humor in the fund development field. Through our conversation, we had 13 points, who knew! So now, I share them with you as we go forward in the New Year. Now that you’ve quit your resolutions – try these tips for adding more daily humor. In business and life try these tips on leading into the New Year. At work, create employee moral (even if you are a business of one) by using these tips for yourself in the work place. Generate family bonds with a new outlook. These tips will help you lead into the New Year with a great outlook, a humorous outlook.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Mistakes happen. We all learn and don’t get worked up about it. If you need to address it, address it with humor and get back to doing your great deeds.
Humor all around! Can you find the humor? I bet you can. Start looking at your situation, environment in a new light. When you have a different perspective, then you start to see things in a more lighthearted way. It takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start earlier
Practice a good, appropriate joke or light-hearted story. What is your kind of funny? We all have different thoughts on what is humor. What’s your comfortable level? Find a humorous cartoon, joke or story that is a staple go to for now. Look to newspaper headlines, local politics, a favorite cartoon or affirmation that makes you smile. Sometimes it takes practice. Find a great lighthearted or humorous story and let that be a go-to piece when you want to break the ice.
Smile and SAY THE WORD, “SMILE.” Unfortunately, there will be times when we might have some downs, or know someone going through a difficult time. Why not just tell them, I’m here to be with you and smile with you.
Remember people who lift you, help you. Sometimes, we are in situations where the entire environment might seem to be a little down. Simply think of something or someone that brings happiness to you and this will lift you in your moment.
Honor yourself as you use humor. It should not steal your credibility. Don’t knock yourself down or belittle yourself with self-deprecating humor. It’s what all the big comics do, but this shows that you undervalue yourself. Simply be generic with your humor when it comes to yourself. Making it personal is fine, just don’t use language that is too hard on yourself.
Borrowing from theater….good improvisational actors listen intently to Find the gift or nugget of information to build the action off of. Listening to your co-workers, family and friends will help you find signals or messages that you might not have heard otherwise. This will help you to focus on them, making them feel heard and appreciated.
Give permission to your staff, colleagues, family, and friends to have light moments. Create opportunities to share in funny activities. One example….find a photo or drawing off the internet and have a caption contest for the funniest caption. It’s free, doesn’t take much time and reading the captions will generate laughter and camaraderie. This can also be an effective problem-solver. Take a challenge and ask the team to start with the silliest idea they can imagine to fix it. These ideas can actually lead to the solution.
In any stressful setting – work, family, or school or the holidays, humor can be a tension reliever. Fill yourself with light-heartedness and share this with around you to break down nervous barriers in stressful situations.
Change your vocabulary. Replace the typical “fillers” with words that reflect you authentically. (How are you today? Fine.) “Awesome!” if you mean it, will brighten any conversation.
In times of stress to try to alleviate the “elephant in the room” and interject some lightheartedness. Scan the room. Look for something in the environment that can take on a humorous bent or simply Pull the subject away from the more serious concern at the time and provide a lighter conversation
Advocate with kindness. When you need something to accomplish a donor gift, take a look around you. Instead of focusing on getting what you think is right, seek common ground. Ask for what you need, but be open to accepting sharing the information and finding a mid-way solution.
Humor and laughter creates HOPE! That’s why it fits during times of sorrow or crisis. There are plenty of examples that show tension being broken with laughter.

And there you have it! Now lead with humor… go… now.

Write Your Own Affirmation – Start with Three Words

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With the New Year now full steam ahead my Facebook feed looks like an explosion of affirmations and wishes for a successful, happy, peaceful, balanced or blessed year. I feel like I scroll past each positive post without registering any emotion. Don’t get me wrong, I love inspiring quotes matched with a beautiful picture, but on Facebook I find I don’t have time to really appreciate them. I’ve written mine down in notebooks, sticky notes and scrap pieces of paper pasted here and there.

My favorites:

“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”~ William Ernest Henley, Invictus

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~ Maya Angelou
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

For a year, I’ve encouraged others to write their OWN affirmation. It’s hard to think about what you’d like for yourself. What would success, happiness, or a balanced lifestyle mean? I know, because I’ve struggled.

Design Mascot Make A Wish

I came across Karen’s post about three words. Yes, three words to design a plan for 2013. I instantly thought how much I needed this! I’m brewing with too many words to help guide me. I found focus and my three words. It took me about five minutes, because I went with my instincts.

Relentless. Soar. Believe.

Relentless. Being persistent on achieving my goals. I don’t want to miss the mark and say, “Well that was a good try.” I want to exclaim “I did it.” I want to drive it home, all the way like my daughter who will make me insanely crazy by asking repeatedly for a cookie before dinner until I cave. I’ve made big goals because I feel like I lost a year. Relentlessly thinking, living, breathing and moving forward to my goals.

Soar. I’ve had some excellent successes in the past. I wrote a show, wrote a book, and had lots of YouTube videos and some other major turning points in my life. Trouble is, once I attain them, I don’t capitalize on them. This year, I’m ready to take all that to the edge of the diving board, bounce, jump and fly! Everything is there and ready for me to soar to my next goals and dreams. I just need to leave the nest.

Believe. You’re probably saying, “But of course Liysa believes, she has lofty goals.” But I have this inner-voice in my brain. I call her “Lisa” and she tries to drag me back to the person I was before my turning points. She tells me, “Ha, that will never work!” Or she screams, “Who the heck do you think you are, deserving any success!”

Interesting how these three words resemble the quotes I listed above. So, take just a moment, what are your three words? Build on them; because once you write them down they will take you through 2013 – just like Kathleen pointed out.

De-stress with Pandora …in bed.

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When I can’t sleep I think, and when that drives me crazy and riles me up, I listen to Pandora on my phone. These days I’ve been in an anxious funk, so I try to loosen up with the Comedy Icon Channel. Damn, I love Jim Gaffigan, Mitch Hedberg and John Pinnette. They make me cry laughing. Once I”ve done that, then I switch to the meditations channel for some healing music and off I go to lala land.

But because I’m heady, my mind goes back to the advantages of having a Deaf husband. In my comedy gig I talk about the comparisons of growing up with Deaf parents and having a Deaf spouse.

“

As I’m listening to the comedy channel, I realize I am laughing in my big obnoxious middle of the day laugh, but it’s now 11:45 p.m. My hubby is 8 inches away. The lights are out in my house. The only thing glowing is the cellphone light when I constantly check the station to see who is coming up next.

For me laughter has become a great stress reliever. It also helps me relax, and the best part, no one tells me to shush!

What’s your laughter stress reliever?

Rockin’ Bucket List

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So I’ve heard about Nerd Fitness earlier this year. The Epic Quest Steve developed stayed with me. Immediately after looking at his bucket list, I started a list of my own. Trouble is, I never printed it. Looking back, the starting point would have been to just print the darn thing! I’ve come back to it now.

I realized, up until four years ago, I was a “society goal getter.” Which was the basics, go to school, get a degree, find a husband, have kids, work in a J-O-B. It took me two years of re-wiring and now I’ve thrown out the norm and replaced it with things I love.

I finally have started to connect to me, and my journey. In 2010 I titled the new chapter of my life, Positive Positioning – a self labeling affirmation. With my new mindset I’m working on a good routine for mental positive attitude, and law of attraction thinking. I still have goals for this, but my brain has been trained.

Today, I ramped up my Rockin’ Bucket List with several short term and long term goals. Shorter goals include getting 500 people on my newsletter (I’m currently at 322). sign up–> please…won’t ya, it’s right there on the right.

A longer term goal is to turn my book into a movie.

photo credit: Iain Farrell

I started with current projects, seeing them all the way through will be an awesome start. I realized while creating my list, I’m still learning how to dream. BIG dreams – like Steve– “buying an island” and “swimming in the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean in the same day.”

I know fitness can be for all kinds of things, mind, body, heart, and soul. Where I fall down – is the physical kind. So to get started I made mini goals. Things I know I can do in three months. I don’t know anything about hand-standing push-ups or dead lifts (is that kinda like a failed attempt on my part?), but I’m going to. I need to find what ROCKS for me. I was so worried about doing the right things, but became overwhelmed with advice. I did start with a list of general things to do, chin-ups, squats and lunges – and I’ll do a few, increasing weekly. The goal for me is to do them, and do them properly.

So join me with a rockin’ bucket list of your own! A great way to jumpstart your dreams will be at our upcoming women’s retreat – U Rock University on October 11. This day is gonna make you want a bigger bucket!

Five Tips on How to Start Writing A Book – I Only Used 2.5 of Them

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I haven’t released my book yet, but it’s due out in less than 60 days. I’ve told people, because frankly, I hope they’ll be interested enough to remember when the time comes and I need to sell a few pay off my investment.

Funny as I share about my book, several have told me they would like to write a book. “How do you even go about it?” They asked. This only strengthens my idea – we all have a story. Writing it down even just for the legacy of your family is monumental.

I share this post, to give you tips on what I would have done, not how I did it. I had a three month deadline and wrote my guts out. If you don’t have a deadline, you should still create one, but I offer you a few suggestions first.

Tip Number One
Join a writer’s group – especially if you haven’t been in one. This is going to be a great place to learn structure, content, writing style and a load of things I don’t even know yet. I’ll be looking for one after the first of the year.

Tip Number Two
Sticky Notes – for me I loved this process of using sticky notes. They have really cute ones, but I used the larger ones with a tab and lines. On each line, I wrote a story, the tab for possibly the chapter it might go in. I plastered them all over the wall. I re-arranged them over and over until I had a story line that I liked. Even then I changed it, but it was a good tool to keep my information clear. Some of the notes made it into the book, some did not.

Tip Number Three
Past-tense, present-tense, third person – which one! I’d recommend really thinking and clarifying how you want to tell your story. I had thought I was going to do it in the present-tense but halfway through – I switched to past-tense. Makes for an editing nightmare and I got confused several times.

Tip Number Four
Write the ending first. I think if I had written the ending, it would have put me on a good focus. The ending will most likely change, but perhaps the concept or point will still be with you during your writing.

Tip Number Five
Create goals. I started out with a word-count goal. For each chapter or story, I tallied on my post it note how many words I written that session. Pretty soon I saw thousands turn to tens of thousands. After I got a word count I changed my goal to getting entire chapters completed and edited. Just with anything goals are really refreshing, I rewarded myself with ice cream.

So, start writing and please share with me your tips and progress!

The Words for Others to See – Tell ‘em

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It is the eve before I send my manuscript to readers for feedback. My words that started off with choppy notes and one line memories has morphed. I extracted a memoir. How did this happen?

photo credit: milos milosevic

Kathryn and I met in the upstairs lobby of the Schuette building, downtown Manitowoc. The building was unoccupied, but opened up for the auditions for Vagina Monologues in the fall of 2006. As we waited, we chatted. She introduced herself as Kathryn. A petite short woman, however, her personality made her as confident as a seven foot basketball player. Her bright red lipstick jumped from her lips as she talked.

As if she thought I might forget her name quickly, she went on without taking a breath. “You can remember my name by remembering it as CATHERINE THE GREAT.” She said. “But, know that my name is spelled K A T H Y R N.”

April of 2012, Kathryn sat in my kitchen at the granite island. She told me to get the laptop. We were going to submit my story to the people at the Wisconsin Book Festival. As we wrote the application together, she snapped an orange from my fruit bowl. As she brainstormed the right words, she ate the orange between paragraphs. We were half-way done with our entry. And as if to calm her nerves, she reached for another orange.

“Delicious.” She said. Not knowing if she was talking about the orange or the application. As I entered the contact information, she agreed to field the emails and act as an agent. Quite frankly, I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into. After reviewing the application, delighted at the process she hugged me and fled home.

I had grown very fond of Kathryn over the years. I was thrilled she thought my story, that she had only seen in the visual format was worthy of a book. Since she made time to come over, I thought it was the least I could do to follow her lead. However, as soon as she left, so did my thoughts of presenting.

In June just two months later, Kathryn called me. “Oh. My. God.” She shouted through the phone. Did she know that I was at the air show? There was no doubting her excitement – it could only mean the Book Festival extended an invitation to present.

Kathryn went into full greatness and started to list all the things that needed to be done.

“First, get that one woman show you wrote and we’ll revise it.”
“What one woman show?”
“The show I saw in Milwaukee.”
“What about it?”
“Don’t you have it written down.” I heard her excitement begin to calm.
“No, I’m a visual person.”
“You mean you do that show by memory?” She gasped.
“I do.”

After Kathryn realized, we’d be starting from scratch, the craziness ensued. She coached me, pushed me and healed me. She took a novice writer to the edge of feeling, scene, and dozens of writing methods in three months time. Kathryn also put her own projects, life and sanity on hold. Without Kathryn THE GREAT, there would not be a story. A story that yearned to be told, but I didn’t have the knowledge of how to do it.

Thank you, my mentor and confidant. Here’s to you, and the journey that lies before us!

Please take a moment to visit Kathryn. She’s amazing!

The Man Behind L.I.F.E.

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Life. LIFE. L.I.F.E.

Eric McLean – a man full of courage, taped his final confession. I’ve never met Eric. I’ve never had Cancer nor have I known someone in my immediate family or circle of friends to have Cancer. I know it SUCKS – but I’ve never seen it in it’s darkness. This video moved, inspired, and jolted me.

When I saw it last week, there was an insanely strong bond I felt. I didn’t understand why.

Tonight I know, it was his fear he so willingly showed for the world to see. A raw, open and amazing compassion to share with others during this time in his journey. Thoughtful and courageous.

When I think about fear now, it just can’t compare! There just isn’t any. My selfish fears of whether I will have a job in a year, financial burdens or just the fear of the unknown escape me. I used to have fear that would paralyze me, preventing myself from doing, acting, talking or living true to my gifts.

Tonight, Eric passed away.

Eric, you certainly did win! You’ve inspired me to keep fighting and I’m going to look fear right in the eyeballs and keep swinging.

My prayers and thoughts are with his family.

Check out more about his amazing legacy, the work being done at givetolife.org or make a donation.

Thai Life Insurance – It could have been ME

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This Thai Life Insurance commercial has been with me for over a week since I’ve seen it. It’s set off so many emotions, but for me it went quite deep. First, let’s set something straight. It’s a life insurance commercial made in a culture very different for ours in the US. Second, I’m not looking to find out more about the actors or whether they knew sign or not.

My impressions come solely from the impact of the message seeing it the first time. I think it’s important because it is so close to my message of advocating that hearing children of Deaf parents have a very different upbringing in the hearing world. We are the minority that no one even knows about. View the commercial, and then see what my reaction is below.

I gasped, choked up and cried. I was at work. The images stuck with me all day. In the store eight hours later while shopping, an image brought me back to the commercial. I wept on my drive home.

I see a teenager that was rebellious and couldn’t understand why “she” had a Deaf Dad.

I see a girl being taunted which elevated her rage, creating bias. It might have been one or two girls, making her uniqueness public. But, I could see she felt they were ALL against her.

I see a rebelling teenager. In the mind of a teenager, no parent or adult is right. Teenagers think they know it all.

I see a strained relationship. She wants to discover who she is, but she’s unable to understand how, when all she thinks about is she is different.

I see a father, doing his best. Unable to break through the stubbornness of a teenage daughter. Drawing from his experiences so very different than his daughter’s. Struggles while equally difficult, worlds apart. A Deaf teen in a hearing world. A father that could never foresee his hearing daughter in a hearing world living the same ignorance.

I see a father unable to solve his daughter’s pain, nor understand why she is so upset. He keeps trying his best. Frustrated at the lack of response.

I see a hearing daughter burdened with ridicule that seeps into her soul and unable to see past her anger, to see the love.

I see a teenager thinking that no ONE person could ever know her pain, resorting to stop it immediately.

I see ME!

The fact that a director, writer or someone else could create the very same feelings I felt as a teenager means it needs to be addressed.

As I reflect, I now see it was one or two that teased me, but in my mind it was magnified to my core. I don’t think my parents realized that I would be viewed differently because of their Deafness. How or why could they think that? And me, I never told anyone so it would be addressed. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, so I kept it in! I kept it in for a very long time.

Now, my mission is to educate, inspire and motivate.

You’ve changed…thank goodness!

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I’m 39 years old. I’ve written about my new chapter entitled Positive Positioning. I’m working on my attitude, lifestyle and outlook on life. I’m beginning to find I want to learn more about yoga, chakras and meditation.

photo credit: Rilind Hoxha

Do you remember who you were at age 22? I look back and wonder how did I know everything so young? Today I find myself curious about more opportunities to seek, explore and to find who I am today, at my core. Actually it’s not about finding myself but developing the things I find interesting to add to myself.

I knew I was going to find a new way of freedom. Not sure what that really includes, but mostly peace. I made a commitment to change daily. The past three months have shown, I am the most centered I’ve been in a very long time. From the moment I committed to doing what makes me happy, shedding any concern of what others think of my decisions, I’ve been able to feel centered.

For three years, I was unbalanced. Each decision I wanted to make had to be explained to my friends, acquaintances, Facebook connections and the cashier at Petco. I couldn’t make a decision or depend on my gut feelings for anything. What are you having for dinner? What should I charge for comedy tickets? Should I buy the toilet paper on sale at Walmart or get it while I purchase my breakfast on sale at CVS?

Today, it’s not all rosey and happy just because I vowed to be positive! It takes practice, and I find the more experience I bank, the easier it is to get out of the more challenging days! So thank goodness I’m not the same person I was before, a know it all 22 year old isn’t as fun as a living life large while learning 39 year old!

Positive Peeps

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I’m currently on “staycation” where you take vacation from work and stay home. It’s been a pretty good day and I’m catching up on the website. After reflecting about my past month, I thought it only perfect to highlight some great people doing great things. Positive things. My new chapter is entitled “Positive Positioning” and I’m perfecting it daily (sometimes hourly). It takes time but I’m learning so much. By positioning myself with great influences, I can only continue to move forward. They make me smile.

photo credit: epSos.de

Last month Positive Impact Magazine was kind enough to publish an article I wrote. I was thrilled to see over 50 people shared it on Facebook. If you missed the article take a peek. They highlight those giving back, making a difference and living life truly for the better. I’m proud to know them, actually Charity, Jen and I were in the same graduating class.

Other great influences I have been vibing with are the gals at 411 Voices, all of us living our passions in our daily work. However, the one woman that stands out is Louise Sattler – get to know her and see her drive…I mean her drive puts me in the carpool lane! She’s doing great things with sign language and is a super smart lady.

I’ve also been inspired by those that keep me going – reaching for my dream. They allow me to think out my obstacles (ok rant about them). Being positive isn’t just an attitude, it is a lifestyle. I am practicing daily and looking forward to each day.

I give them credit, I’m a great deal of force to keep up with,however Maria Birch, she’s a powerhouse and she full of information, being a reporter and all.

Thanks to Facebook for reconnecting a high school mate, Kathleen Howell, she also is working on her passion – daily – her photography is wonderful, and her vision is inspiring.

Kathryn Gahl, writer and red lipstick wearer – I’m grateful to have you so close to tap into. Your energy and wisdom is moving!

Those that believe in me, (all my family and closest friends – they don’t have websites, so Ican’t link them, but they know, I know that they support me!) Dr. J, she’s amazing – not only is she a successful chiropractor at age 40, but she doesn’t even work in the office and still collecting a paycheck! She’ll also try just about anything – a free spirit! Syllviea -what energy of love, loving each and every organism as it should be nurtured and love, you inspire me greatly.

photo credit: Shay Tal

Be sure to align yourself with those that are positive! What is your passion? What are you working on? Who inspires you?